It's not like there's anyone left who doesn't read PostSecret, but really now, really.

17 days left of being 17! I'm on the edge... (Here is my secret: earlier this year I went through an [extremely short] phase where I wanted to beeee Stevie Nicks. That fluffy hair! Those whirling capes! Platform heels! It passed, of course. These things do. But I still think she's badass.)

(And isn't it cute how I'm counting these things down? It's kinda just because of the end of the HSC aka end of the world as we know it coincide right about there though. Speaking of which, where did my night go? Bothersticks!)

Fitz and Dizzyspells

I can't help but be impressed by my hard-partying neighbours. They have played 'So What' by P!ink* not twice, not thrice, but five times and counting this fine evening! That is some dedication to still being a rockstar/ having my own car, right there. I actually have to study though guys, so I'm trying to blast it out with Satie** but um, ill conceived plan because the work of Satie is generally very very quiet, like Phillip Glass you know. Phillip Glass <3s Satie. That is what I learned from Wikipedia today. Speaking of ill conceived plans though... Board of Studies, English Paper 2. WHAT WAS THAT? I had a rant prepared, fuming on the way home, "clogged with dregs of betrayal, reprisal, hatred", but I swallowed it, but suffice to say, I no longer have an academic future. My Hamlet thesis was awesome though year 11s: ask me to send it to you so you can leech off my now-unacknowledged genius and maybe it will have its moment of glory next year when the HSC won't make me cry with needlespecific questions on minor obscure features of the play. Fuuu-

Okay news update!!
1. I want to move into an apartment so I can have my own coffee table, magazine rack and doomed pot plants. Magazine racks are so hot! I love magazines lately.
2. Having a Karen O day today, as in one where I worship her. because she is queen of the living fierce and she is probably going to play a sideshow in Sydenay this summer and that will be awesome. Plus the whole Where the Wild Things Are soundtrack thing. So where I'm at right now. So me, so me...
3. Speaking of awesome, look, it's a leaping Iberian wolf! (from this wildlife photog competition)

*Does she st!ll even spell her name l!ke that, or am ! so two-thousand-and-late?

** Don't call me pretentious or I'll sic minimalism on you. Not sure how that would work, but you don't wanna risk finding out right?

V.ii

If it be now, 'tis not to come; if it be not to come, it will be now; if it be not now, yet it will come: the readiness is all.

In honour of impeding affluence: Erised

I'm whiling away my time making object lust lists. Partly because in a month and a bit HSC is over and we're going on a job hunt! (We're going on a job hunt!) We're gonna catch a big one (We're actually gonna catch a poorlypaid casualposition but hey!) I'm not scared! I'm-not-scared!

But not really because of that. Tackily, in a similar time frame I turn 18 and people keep asking me that impossible question, "What do you want?" to which I must honestly answer thusly. I got everything I need. But if you insist, please don't fill my desk drawers with cutesy, grammatically incorrect Azn stationery. They're already fairly bursting with such fruits of my junior years at a selective girls' high. I'd much rather...

1. your favourite book
   
2. Moleskine soft cover pocket-sized daily diary (oh fuuu- I'm a wanker. A converted converted wanker...) (D:) (whatever, they're nicely designed. a no-name brand daily diary of a similar size, appearance and function will of course suffice)
   
3. an analog camerah (my SLR's shutter function has ceased to do so)
   
4. Polaroid? lomo? Demekin fisheye 110? something photographically fun...
   
5. Agyness Deyn


6. band tshirts! Next year I'm making new friends by o n l y ever wearing band tshirts, so efficient in delineating tastes and preferences that we'll barely need to talk! Leaving so much time for other, better things... (Personal branding FTW. Webcomic shirts are also good for this sort of thing.)


7. shooting stars, unicorns, hash brownies, whatnot...


8. a dictionary of quotations (to wean me off Tumblr)


9. a wicked hat stand/coat rack. Captain Hook.
   
10. a vegan cookbook: two New Years resolutions with one tome! (them being to live mindfully and learn to do basic stuff for myself)


11. an extravagntly mystical and beautiful incense holder
    
12. cream or brown headphones. Like these darling retro panasonic ones, but available in Aus :(


13. gypsy jewellery
    
14. magic stockings or scarlet socks


15. braces (pants braces, but preferably teeth braces because people wivvem are sooo cute! but I hear they're also expensive and painful, so maybe not)


16. gin/red wine/butterscotch schnapps


17. the gift of knowledge
    
18. nothing
    

And yet it stands: no matter how hard I hoard curiousities, complete collections, and vigorously Improve My Existence with Lifestyle Products™, I will still die alone. Ah, the incontrovertible! Breathe it in now, breathe it in!

P.S. "I see myself holding a pair of thick, woolen socks." Harry stared.

The Thought-Fox

Here's a poem by Ted Hughes. It's about writing a poem, or maybe rewriting essays and notes once accessible from a wayward USB, minus the misery that entails though. God I feel so uninspired & disconnected... Accio perspective. But fuck this year.


I imagine this midnight moment's forest:
Something else is alive
Beside the clock's loneliness
And this blank page where my fingers move.

Through the window I see no star:
Something more near
Though deeper within darkness
Is entering the loneliness:

Cold, delicately as the dark snow
A fox's nose touches twig, leaf;
Two eyes serve a movement, that now
And again now, and now, and now

Sets neat prints into the snow
Between trees, and warily a lame
Shadow lags by stump and in hollow
Of a body that is bold to come

Across clearings, an eye,
A widening deepening greenness,
Brilliantly, concentratedly,
Coming about its own business

Till, with a sudden sharp hot stink of fox
It enters the dark hole of the head.
The window is starless still; the clock ticks,
The page is printed.

Countdowns:

18 days until HSC begins

40 days until it's over & I turn 18

then formals

then schoolies

then sanity?